Blind Desire by Aartial D (Episode 19-27)
Episode Nineteen.
I snuggled coser to Ifeanyi to tap warmth from his. His hands encircled my waist and pecked my cheeks…i smiled at him.
Henna picked the packet of cigarette on the table and brought out a stick causing Ifeanyi to frown.
‘common big bro, its just a stick…its been really long i had a smoke, please…’ Henna pleaded as she brought the cigarette to her lips.
‘Henna, this lifestyle of yours will not help you. No man wants to marry a wayward woman who smokes and drinks like there’s no tomorrow. You’re just seventeen..not even up to the age of smoking….’ Ifeanyi said.
Yes, even i had complained several times about the smoking habit of Henna but she didnt care. She believed in living her life to the fullest, having the most handsome guys at her beck and call, smoking all she wanted and drinking all she wanted! That was how she wanted to live her life.
‘Its my life Ife…’ she lighted the cigarette.
Ifeanyi shrugged resignedly ‘true, its ur life little sis, just trying to be concerned since you’re my sister..’
‘i appreciate…’ Henna said puffing thick smoke into the air.
I looked at Oma and saw she was grinding Chijioke already…Ije was kissing her boyfriend, Zakky..the ugliest boy in our class. Seriously, i dont know what Ije saw in him but she loved him to death. She had other boyfriends, Okechukwu and the likes of them, but she never played with Zakky.
Henna relaxed her back on Jude as they shared her cigarette, laughing to themselves. Everyone seemed occupied with their boyfriends.
Ifeanyi raised my head and kissed me lightly on my lips ‘lets go to the car…’ he breathed kissing my hair.
I understood what he meant…he actually meant having s-x in the car. I shook my head.
‘no, i’d rather remain here’ i replied.
I saw Henna looking at me and with her head she urged me on. She had insisted i told Ifeanyi the truth about Ralph and i, but how could i? How could i ever tell Ifeanyi that i had s-x with Ralph and he disvirgined me? How would Ifeanyi look at me? Would he ever forgive me? What if he ends it with me? What if Henna was wrong dis time? Werent somethings better left unsaid?
I sighed ‘okay, lets go’
He smiled at me and we stood up from the sand. We were actually in Umueke’s playground, more like a village beach, with sharp sands and a small river by the side.
Immediately we entered the car and rolled up our windows, Ifeanyi grabbed me, kissing me and squeezing my bosoms. I moaned.
I wanted more and i drew closer.
His hands went under my skirt playing with my cl.it, he pinched it softly and i groaned in ecstacy.
He unbuckled his belt and brought down his boxer…my eyes bulged at the size of his member…his were twice the size of Ralph’s.
He came atop of me and reached for a kiss, but i threw my head to the side.
He stopped and looked at me ‘whats wrong?’
‘nothing…’ i replied ‘Ife, please stand up, i’m not in the mood for this’
‘but Ivyy, you were responding just now…’
‘i said i’m not in the mood please…’ i pushed him away and sat up adjusting my blouse ‘i’ll do this in my own appropriate time, i dont want to rush’
‘are you a virgin?’
That question broke my heart. I wanted to scream yes! I had been a virgin until three days ago! When that jerk….
I saw the hope in his eyes and melted…i bursted into tears.
He held me…surprised and shocked at my tears ‘Ivyy, why are you crying?’
‘i was…i was raped Ife…’ what i said even surprised me…where did that come from.
‘what?!’ he looked shocked.
I had to continue what i already started. Henna would be disappointed in me, yes, but i had to do what i had to do to keep Ifeanyi. I loved him.
‘i was raped. That basta.rd Ralph raped me!’
Am i doing the right thing?
Episode 20.
I slept that night with a heavy heart. What have i turned into? Why did i have to lie to Ifeanyi about Ralph? What if he found out the truth…that i wasnt raped my Ralph but had s-x and not only had s-x with him, enjoyed it to its fullest. Henna would be disappointed in me…oh God, what have i done?
I made up my mind to have nothing to do with Ralph anymore. I was going to focus on Ifeanyi because i loved him. It was him i truly loved not Ralph.
I was going to complete treat Ralph like he was invincible, not even bantering words with him. Yes, maybe he suceeded with me, but its over. He was a mistake i was going to regret for the rest of my life.
****
Exams came and went. It was holiday time!
I loved holidays…no, i used to love holidays.
Because back then, when mama was alive, i used the holidays as an opportunity to assist her in her trade and also learn alot of things from her. I was free from books and morning bells.
Henna made me promise i was going to visit her house on sunday and i agreed to it. While Oma was going to Owe to visit her aunt, Ije was going to travel to Owerri to learn trade and come back only when school resumes. So it was just Henna and i.
I had succeeded…i had escaped Ralph…or so i thought.
I wondered why he didnt expose the fact that he had finally disvirgined me to everyone….maybe God was at work because it was really surprising, unlike Ralph.
I was surprised to see aunt Chime’s ladies bike parked in front of the compound, meaning she was home. It was unusual of her to remain at home by this time of the day.
I shrugged. Maybe she was ill or just came in to pick up something…i was surprised to see a huge black car parked inside the compound too. Who owned the car? Was aunt Chime having a visitor?
I decided to follow the backdoor, but it was locked, so i had no other choice but to follow the frontdoor.
As i neared the front door however, i heard some funny noises.
I placed my ears on the door and heard moans coming from aunt Chime.
‘um…ahn…yesss…dats it…ouch…onowu, thats it..ah..’
My hands flew to my house. Onowu? Henna’s father? In this house? S------g aunt Chime? This is so impossible. Maybe i heard wrongly, it certainly cannot be the onowu.
By this time, her moans had increased ‘aww yeah…ah…ah..ah..onowu ehhhh’
****
I stared at the black phone Ifeanyi had gotten me yesterday and i smiled. Ifeanyi was a generous and a very nice guy. He made my heart flutter beautifully. The phone was just like Henna’s, if not bigger than Henna’s and i wonder if i could be able to operate it. I hid it from aunt Chime because i didnt know how i was going to explain to her how i got the phone.
There was a knock from the parlour door and i quickly hid the phone under my bed. Who was that?
Was aunt Chime home?
I ran to the door and opened it and i gasped. Ralph! Oh my God, my heart pounded loudly against my chest and i wondered if he heard it. He had a wicked grin on his face.
‘hi baby…’ he called seductively and winked ‘happy to see me?’
I wanted to bang the door on his fac but i couldnt, i just stared at him. That was my mistake because he quickly pounced on me, chewing on my lips.
That was when i realised that i was always longing for his kiss because no sooner had he kissed me that my hands left the door and i wrapped my hands around his neck, responding to his kiss with full vigor.
He kicked the door shut with his legs and we fell on a sofa, with him on top.
He snaked his hand into my top massaging my br.easts through my bra.
Then he tore it off, unhooked the bra and took off his shorts. I closed my eyes in desire as he went down on me. Yes, Ralph knew the right buttons to press to make me desire more.
Suddenly he stopped, and i opened my eyes, i looked at him in confusion, what was wrong? Why did he stop?
‘Ivyy, are you sure you want this?’ he asked with a smile.
I was confused. Wasnt my moans enof to tell him that i wanted this and more?
‘tell me you want this’ he said sitting up.
I nodded.
‘say it with your mouth Ivyy, what do you want?’
‘i….’
‘what?’
‘Ralph, please…’ i moaned as his hands touched my cli.t.
‘what?’
‘i want you…’
‘want me to?’
‘to…’
‘to?’
‘to just FU.CK ME’ i practically screamed it as his tongue went down on me again.
I moaned.
Episode 21.
The phone Ifeanyi gave me worsened the whole situation. Yes, i still hid it from aunt Chime, and i had just three contacts on my phone, Ifeanyi’s, Henna’s and Ralph’s.
Like i was saying earlier, the phone Ifeanyi gave me worsened the whole situation. Ralph and i talked very often and we met severally at the inn or at his house. I no longer regretted anything. If anything, i enjoyed it more than ever.
Ralph was still a jerk, several times i had caught him with girls but i just let it slide…because i didnt love him. I could share him with anyone. As far as he satisfies me with what i want, then he’s free to keep as many girlfriends as he wishes.
***
We laughed.
I was sitting on Ifeanyi’s laps, Kainene and her fiance were seated close to each other on the exquisite sofa. Henna and Jude were dancing together, rocking each other and some of Kainene’s friends were also dancing.
Their sitting room was a mess..filled with cigarettes and alcohol bottles, biscuit wraps and what have you.
We were celebrating Kainene’s engagement in a small way. And of course, the onowu was not around, if he had been, then he wouldnt have allowed us mess up his sitting room like this.
The onowu was a strict man and it still baffled me how a strict man like him could be sleeping with his own daughter and at the same time, s------g my aunt. I found it amusing.
‘yeah baby, rock him harder!’ Kainene cheered at Henna and Jude.
Yes, i know that we were all having fun and all that. But, as a senior, when you see your junior heading towards the wrong path, you draw him or her back, and tell him/her the dangers of following that path. But that was not the case of Kainene and Ifeanyi.
Yes, sometimes Ifeanyi complained, but he wasnt that strict with it. He just shrugged saying it was her life, which was not supposed to be so. They were siblings from the same womb and one’s lifestyle should concern the other.
Kainene was even worse, instead of correcting her sister, she even encouraged her…what sister would do that?
Henna smoked, drank and even kissed her boyfriend in their presence without fear because she knew they werent going to complain, which was wrong. Even if she did those things, she was supposed to have fear and not do it in their presence but it wasnt entirely her fault, if her siblings has been strict siblings, she wouldnt have been doing such in their presence.
It was wrong.
Yes, i’m equally not a saint, i know. I was doing something very terrible, something unforgivable…something unpardonable.
Ifeanyi wrapped his hands around my chest, his hands pressed tightly against my br.easts. I turned to him and smiled.
‘naughty boy…’
‘lets go to my room, let me show you how naughty i am’ he grinned.
‘no, thank you. Dont spoil me’
My phone beeped. I had recieved a text message. I knew it was from Ralph, no one else.
I climbed down from Ifeanyi’s laps, took my phone and headed to the refridgerator, like i wanted to collect something from it.
I quickly opened the text message. It read;
“Heyy beauty, meet me at the inn by five. I promise you a nice s-x, one Ifeanyi would never be able to give you in a life time”
That alone made me hor.ny. I felt wet between my thighs. I quickly replied him.
“I trust you, you never disappoint me. We’ll meet but by six. I’m at Henna’s house and i dont know when Ifeanyi is going to release me, later”
I catwalked back to Ifeanyi’s laps. I couldnt wait for six. I was already hot. Maybe i could make do with Ifeanyi till six, so i leaned closer and whispered in his ears.
‘lets go to your room’
‘really?’ he grinned ‘lets go’
I stood up and we walked to his room with Kainene winking at us.
Immediately we got to the room, we started kissing and fell on the bed.
His hands went under my top pinching my br.easts. But instead of me to feel excited, i felt irritated.
I tried to enjoy it, even faking a moan but i couldnt.
Not that he wasnt doing it well, he was but i just couldnt enjoy it.
It wasnt turning me on, instead i felt like throwing up in his face and slapping him.
Not that i didnt love Ifeanyi, i did, but romance with him was something i didnt enjoy and didnt look forward to unlike Ralph and i.
He noticed i had stilled and stopped ‘i’m sorry, the rape is still haunting you isnt it?’
Yes, he believed i was raped and that was why i was finding it difficult to engage in intimacy.
‘yes…’ i nodded biting my lips.
He rolled off to the other side of the bed and drew me to himself ‘dont worry, you’ll be fine. Sorry for rushing you. I love you’
‘i love you too Ife’ i snuggled closer to him.
I laid on his chest and smiled inwardly.
I checked the wall clock and it was still four.
Can someone help me tell the clock to fastforward to six o’clock?
I’d really appreciate.
Episode 22.
I started noticing sever back ache come weeks later. I was always weak and dizzy and food lost taste in my mouth. I could no longer enter the kitchen because the smell of food was enof to make me dizzy.
Even coke which had been my favourite drink now had a metallic taste in my mouth.
I hated drugs so i hid my sickness from aunt Chime because she was going to drag me to the village clinic for them to administer drugs on me.
School was resuming in few weeks time but i didnt look forward to it.
Oma had returned to the village and she visited me almost everyday. She told me i was getting fat nowadays and what was the secret. I simply laughed it off and said it was because i rarely left the house nowadays and slept alot.
I lost taste for s-x and whenever Ralph called me, i always had one excuse to say. Ifeanyi never went beyond kissing with me. He understood me and claimed i needed time to heal. He was the best boyfriend that could ever be, he was caring, romantic, nice, and he wasnt stinging. He always siezed opportunity to shower me with gifts, some of which i rejected because i didnt want aunt Chime to suspect anything.
I checked my calendar. Today was 25th, it was due for 14th, why had Aunty flow not visited yet?
My heart pounded loudly against my chest.
I immediately fell on the bed, picked up my phone, turned on my mobile data and hit the internet.
SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY – I typed into the search box. My heart pounded loudly as it connected.
***
‘good evening nurse Amaka…’ i greeted the old nurse seated behing the counter, her glasses on her nose as she read a newspaper.
She looked up at my, her brow creased in a frown, obviously, she was trying to recognise me.
‘Maduemezie okwaya?’ she asked in Igbo.
‘yes ma’ i replied as my heart pounded loudly against my chest..i had hoped she hadnt recognised me. But she did.
‘gi bu afa yi sef?’ she asked meaning – what is your name?
‘i…i…’ I decided to lie ‘Mary’
‘asi!’ she said immediately shocking me. Asi meant lie.
‘ma?’
‘okwi i che umara afa yi okwaya?’ Meaning, so you thought i didnt know your name right?
‘afam bu Mary’
‘ta mechionu, onye asi…’ she said smiling ‘afa gi bu Ivyy, so because i’m old, you think i forget people that easily okwaya?’
I smiled ‘my name is also Mary, my baptismal name’
‘ooo, anukwam (i’ve heard) Gini ki cho?’ What do you want?
‘erm, i…’ God help me, how do i tell her this without this inquisitive nurse asking me questions i wouldnt want to answer?
‘gini?’ what?
‘erm, i’ve forgotten what my neighbour called it oo…erm, okay..she said pregnancy strip!’ I exclaimed, glad the idea came into my head immediately.
She regarded me suspicously ‘children of nowadays, hian! Mere looking at you alone, i know you’re pregnant. So you want to fool me into believing its for your neighbour okwaya? When last did you see your period?’
I was shocked to the marrow, how did she know? I looked at my body, was it written all over me?
She chuckled as she rose on her feet ‘it seems you’ve forgotten that i’m a old woman with so many grandchildren and as such, i have more experience than you can ever imagine, mu amugo nwa oo (i’ve given birth oo). I know a pregnant woman immediately she crosses my face and immediately you came here, i knew you were carrying a child, that was why i was interviewing you..see your life…i’ll advice you not to bother buying a pregnant strip, because i’m already telling you that you are pregnant’ Her face wrinkled in disgust as tears ran down my cheeks ‘there’s no use crying over spilled milk. Shebi you wanted to taste what your mother was eating every night? Shebi you’ve tasted it…e sweet?’ She laughed wickedly.
‘your parents…oh! Your parents are already dead, too bad! But they will be turning in their graves by now…its a pity. I just hope the man marries you sha, so your life wont be a mess like your moms’
I broke down in tears. Who was this woman to judge me? What right had she to judge me? I thought as i cried.
Ralph has killed me! Ralph has ruined my future! My education…my career! God!
I fell on the floor of the pharmacy weeping like a baby.
I had always wanted to be an Accountant…a chartered Accountant. But all that had gone down the drains.
I cried.
The heartless woman didnt even deem it fit to console me, instead she laughed.
‘shebi penis dey hungry you? Shebi you don taste am? Amu na su so, Amu ne gbu!’ (The penis is sweet, the penis also kills).
How i managed to get home that night surprised even me.
Immediately i got home, i locked the door behind me and cried my eyes out till i slept.
A knock on the door woke me up. I opened it to see Aunt Chime.
She regarded me for a while, held my hand and dragged me to the sitting room.
I was scared, what was happening?
She landed a hot slap on my cheeks immediately we got there.
‘tell me the ba.stard who’s responsible!’ She said angrily.
I started crying. She had found out ‘aunt, what happened?’
‘who’s the fool who got you pregnant, you animal!’
‘aunty….’ i started crying. I had brought shame to myself. What do i tell her? God please forgive me my sins, but please help me outta this mess. I felt like dying.
She gave me another slap ‘it seems you are trying me Ivyy, im tizie ife tata, e go wete oweyi (if i beat you this nite’ She brought a horsewhip from under the table and landed it severally on my body.
‘tell me…tell me’
I screamed as the whip touched me everywhere. I was dying slowly and only God could help me.
‘will you tell me or not?’ aunt Chime asked landing the whip mercilessly on my body.
I’d never been flogged like this before. I couldnt take it anymore.
‘IFEANYI!!!!!’ I screamed.
I stilled. What did i just say?
Episode 23.
Very early the next morning, aunt Chime dragged me like a thief to the onowu’s house. The guard at the gate refused to let us in as the onowu was around.
Aunt Chime started screaming loud ‘IFEANYI! IFEANYI, SON OF THE ONOWU! COME AND SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO MY NIECE OOOO! YOU’VE IMPREGNATED HER AND YOU MUST TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT’
I bowed my head in shame as tears poured down my cheeks…i regretted so many things.
If only Ifeanyi was responsible for my pregnancy, then i wouldnt have no fear because he was certainly going to marry me. But no he wasnt, and he was going to know because he never had sexual intercourse with me.
And the shame it was going to bring to me now, because everyone came out of the house almost at once, the onowu, Kainene, Henna, Ifeanyi, the maids and so many other domestic workers in the house.
The onowu told the guard at the gate to let us in and he did.
Immediately i stepped into the compound, i lowered my head in shame. I knew i was a mess, my hair was rough, my clothes were squeezed and my face oily and pale. My eyes were red and swollen from too much crying.
The onowu looked from aunt Chime to me accessingly ‘whats the meaning of this, so early in the morning?’ his voice vibrated in anger.
Aunt Chime got on her knees with her head lowered ‘onowu, may you live long’
‘what brings you and your niece here this early morning?’ he asked.
Henna moved to my side and was about speaking when her father commanded her to step back.
I suddenly felt dizzy and my knees became weak and Ifeanyi was beside me in a flash and i fell into his arms.
By now, aunt Chime was already explaining everything to the onowu.
I looked at Ifeanyi in tears and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’
He looked at me in confusion.
‘i’m very sorry Ifeanyi, have mercy upon me’ i sobbed.
‘……so now, my niece is pregnant and she claimes Ifeanyi is responsible for the pregnancy and i brought her here for Ifeanyi to take responsiblity. Long live the onowu…’ Aunt Chime concluded.
‘get up woman…’ the onowu said and she did.
‘Ifeanyi!’ the onowu spoke authoritatively.
Ifeanyi looked at him, confusion laced over his face. It was obvious he wasnt understanding what was going on ‘dad?’
‘what do you have to say about this? Have you impregnated this girl here as claimed?’ the onowu asked.
Ifeanyi looked at me and gave me the ARE YOU CRAZY look? ‘are you playing games Ivyy? If thats the case, you should quit now cos everyone is falling for it’
‘mere looking at her, she looks like someone with pregnancy…’ the head cook of their house said, madam Onuoha, a woman in her sixties.
The onowu turned to her ‘did i ask for your opinion?’
‘no…no sir’
‘get inside the house and prepare dinner immediately!’
The cook scampered inside the house immediately.
Ifeanyi shifted away from me ‘Ivyy, who’s responsible for your pregnancy?’
‘what kind of question is that?’ aunt Chime asked ‘of course its you! You think i havent been seeing you guys hang out in my garden through my windown?’
Ifeanyi stood up immediately ‘i am not responsible for this! Tell her to tell you the person responsible for the pregnancy because its certainly not me, i am a hundred percent sure of that!’
‘dont you know that condoms do burst?’ the onowu interjected ‘if you think you can be hundred percent sure simply because you used a condom then you’re a liar. Ifeanyi, i’m disappointed in you! How dare you try to shy away from your responsibility? Is that what i thought you?’
‘dad! Ivyy is lying! Gosh, Henna please tell them what i told you last night…’ Ifeanyi said turning to Henna ‘i agree that we attempted to do it so many times but Ivyy couldnt do it because she or rather she claimed she was raped and so she had issues whenever it came to intimacy. I swear on my late mother’s grave and everything i hold dear that i did not have s-x with Ivyy. She was my girlfriend, yes, but there was never any intimacy between us, ask her yourself!’
I started crying as all eyes turned to me.
The onowu came closer and squatted in front of me ‘tell me my child, who really is responsible for your pregnancy? Is it really Ifeanyi?’
I cried. I couldnt say anything….Ifeanyi was such a good person, he didnt deserve this kind of treatment from anyone most especially me. I just had to admit that i’d lost him for good. He was never coming back to me again and it was all my fault.
‘answer me child…’ the onowu said tenderly ‘is he truly responsible for your pregnancy?’
I shook my head. I couldnt do this to Ifeanyi, he deserved something better ‘no’
Everyone gasped and Ifeanyi fell to the ground crying. He had truly loved me.
‘then who’s responsible?’ the onowu asked.
‘Ralph…Ralph Obi’ i sobbed.
Henna’s shoulder sagged in disappointment.
She warned me. Mrs Asemota warned me.
I’m finished!
Episode 24.
I would never forget that day in my life.
That day when i stood by the window watching my mates dressed in their neat and well ironed school uniform hurrying off to school with their fancy schoolbags slung over their shoulders.
That day when it dawned on me that i might never smell the school gate anymore. That day when it dawned on me that i was going to miss my teachers. Especially Mrs Asemota. That day when it dawned on me that i had disappointed very important persons in my life.
I knew without being told that mama was going to be very upset with me wherever she was.
I lost. I lost on both ends.
Immediately we left the onowu’s house that fateful day, aunt Chime had dragged me to Ralph’s house.
We met his mother and she threatened us after throwing some money to us, never to come close to our house again.
She called me names i knew i deserved and told me to terminate the pregnancy immediately and i shouldnt drag down her son simply because i was also going down.
Aunt Chime had retorted and had told her that if she had given her son a proper upbringing, then he would never have impregnated a girl while in secondary school.
And the woman had looked at me and said i was more shameless because even though Ralph had impregnated me, that wouldnt stop him from going to school becoming what he’s destined to be. But as for me, mine was finished because it will take only a miracle for a responsible and well respected man to marry me.
Aunt Chime had been very mad. And she had stood in front of the woman and told her that plus my pregnancy minus my pregnancy, i was going to be greater than her son in the future.
The woman had laughed and ordered her securities to throw us out. I couldnt stop crying.
At a time, the thought of suicide crossed my mind. I couldnt stand the shame and all.
I looked at the window once more. I saw Mesoma and her friend, Chisom going to school. I was far better than those girls. I was far better than Henna who was scre.wing her own father. Why was i the only one with badluck, i agreed i made a mistake, but did God have to punish me for that?
The door opened and Aunt Chime entered the room with a tray in her hands.
‘Ivyy dear, breakfast in ready, come and eat, have you brushed your teeth?’ she asked concernedly dropping the tray on the table.
‘good morning aunty, i’m not hungry…’ i replied wiping my tears with my hands.
‘are you crying again?’ she moved closer to me ‘baby, you have to stop crying. You really have to stop dwelling on your mistake..what has happened has happened and you have to move on. You have to be in good condition and eat well for your baby’s sake…’
At the mention of baby’s sake, i broke into tears.
She pulled me closer to herself ‘you’ll be just what you want to be my dear, pregnancy will not stop you. You will carry this pregnanct, you will give birth to this baby, you will nurse it for one year but after that one year, Ivyy, i’m sending you to the city, you’ll drop the baby with me, i’ll train it and treat it like my own. With all my savings, i’ll make sure you go to a very good school over there, i would do everything i can, even if i have to open my legs for every man in this village, i will do it. You must show people that early pregnancy cannot stop you from being whatever you want to be. Pregnancy does not take long, just nine months, after then, its over. Just take it as a nine-month break in your life. Moreover, you shouldnt be sad. You are going to be bringing a new life into this world. Do you know how much i’ve prayed to God to grant me this nine-month rest? You are opportuned to get it Ivyy so relax and be happy. If you think your pregnancy will cause you to stop schooling, then it will not, you’ll start school again, you’ll attend university and you’ll graduate with a very good result, i’ll make sure of that. I’ll prove to that useless woman that plus pregnancy minus pregnancy, you’re destined to be greated than that psychotic son of hers…’ she said with such venom in her soul.
I couldnt believe this was the woman i once i hated. I couldnt believe this was the woman whom had flogged me that day..mercilessly.
She was my second mother.
I rested my head on her shoulder and cried.
‘and if anyone tries to mock you, just tell me, i’ll show them a every vagin.a has hair, everywhere in the world except that of a small child! Pregnancy is a gift not everyone has the opportunity to recieve, so if you’ve recieved it Ivyy, then you should cherish it. Dem no born anybody well make they come meet you tell you nonsense, i go tear their cloth for their body!’
I cried. I hope everything becomes as aunt Chime had said it, God being my helper.
Episode 25.
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Aunt Chime registered me in the clinic for antenatal, and that was the only place i visited apart from church.
The three places i ever went to were the church, the clinic and the garden which was also in the same compound. I’ve never felt so lonely the way i felt this past few months.
Henna was still angry with me, i could tell with the way she always reacted whenever she visited which was once in a blue moon.
The next time she visited after that day at her house was in my third month of pregnancy.
She came again in my fifth month and twice in my sixth month and i did not see her till my nineth month of pregnancy. She always came with gifts and novels to keep me busy and she never stayed long. She just asked me how i was faring, what it felt like to have a baby.
Oma and Ije came with her once and the degrading look they constantly gave me made me really uncomfortable and i had to tell them i needed to rest just so they could go.
I was standing by the window one fateful morning watching students hurry off to school as i usually did every morning. My classmates were now in their final year preparing for their Senior Secondary Certificate Examination (SSCE).
I looked down on my stomach rubbing it gently, i suddenly felt a sharp pain across my waist and below my abdomen.
I ignored it till it came again. This time it was really severe, i muffled a scream.
It came again, more severe this time and i let out a scream as i felt water trickle down my thighs.
‘help….somebody help me….’ Aunt Chime was not home, she went to her women meeting.
I needed help.
I slowly crawled to my box where i had hidden my cell phone. I turned it on and dialled a number.
‘hello?’ the familiar voice which i had missed said into the speaker.
‘hell…o, Ifeanyi…pls come over…i…ouch! I need help!’
***
I stared lovingly at the little creature in my arm and broke into tears.
Such a beautiful child.
I thought about everything that had happened to me these past few months, all the mistakes i made, all the people i took for granted, all the advice i recieved.
I cried even harder.
Aunt Chime came to me and wrapped her hands around my shoulders.
‘its okay baby, stop crying..you should be happy at this special moment not crying…’ she said.
‘i’m happy aunty, i’m very happy right now….but i cant…i cant stop my tears…’
‘the baby is so cute, just like her mother, what would you like to name her?’
‘aunty, Ifeanyi is unisex right?’
‘huh?’
‘i mean, Ifeanyi is for both male and female isnt it?’
‘eh…yes, but males bear it more…’
‘i’ll name this child Ifeanyi…’ i spoke as tears poured from my eyes ‘her name is Ifeanyi Pamela Maduemezie…i’ll name her Pamela after my mother’
‘Ivyy….’ aunt Chime said hugging me.
‘she’ll always remember me of…of him…’
‘who? Ifeanyi?’
I nodded ‘i’ve lost him for good aunty
‘hold on i’m coming…’ i shouted at the person who was persistently knocking.
Little Ifeanyi was in my arms, crying with my b---m in her mouth. She seemed insatiable and i wondered what her problem was. She bit my ni.pple and i winced and spanked her playfully.
I removed my b---m from her mouth and tucked it back into my bra, dropped her on the sofa and headed to the door.
I opened it and gasped ‘Ralph!’
He smiled cockily and spread his arms ‘live and direct baby’
My heart swelled in hatred for this guy. He was my worst nightmare, and if i was given the chance to kill anyone, that would be him certainly.
I suddenly felt like banging the door on his face. It’d been a year since i last saw him. Obviously, his mother had told him about my baby and he had stayed away from me. Fool!
I proceeded to close the door on his face but he was quick enough to put his left foot in the way.
‘what do you want?!’ i asked angrily. This guy shouldnt tempt me, i would kill him if need be.
‘you baby…i missed you, you know’ he winked.
‘gosh! You’re so disgusting! Get out of my house Ralph, i dont want to see ever again!’
‘dont you love me anymore? Remember how you’d scream my name in ecstacy, telling me you loved me with all your heart and you’d never leave me whenever you were underneath me?’
I blushed in embarrassment and closed my eyes. Yes, those were the days of foolishness and blindness. I was naive and foolish then, but not anymore.
Tears smarted my eyes as i thought of everything i lost because of him. My education, my dignity, my self respect and above all, Ifeanyi.
‘i hate you Ralph…’ i whispered fiercely.
I saw emotion pass through his face but it was gone as quickly as it came and he quickly grinned again.
‘maybe if we get under the sheets once more, the hatred will disappear as quickly as it came…what do you think?’ he winked.
I spat on his face as my left hand flew across his face.
My other hand followed and he was quick enof to catch the third one mid air.
I raised my other hand and he held it, i struggled to let go but his hold only tightened. He was no longer grinning or smiling, his face was void of emotions.
Then he placed his lips on mine, but i bit it with full force and he drew back and winced. He held two of my hands with one hand and used his other hand to draw me closer to him. He placed his lips on mine again chewing on my lower lip.
The old me would have melted in his arms by now, but i was a different Ivyy now, i kicked his balls with my knees and he bent low in pain releasing me.
I sent another slap to him…i picked up the rod close to the door and whipped his back with it. He screamed in pain and fell down.
I raised the rod again and this time, it landed on his stomach…he screamed and tried to get on his feet, i landed the rod on his ankle and he was back on the floor again.
I raised the rod again and it bruised his lips. He was practically spitting out blood again.
I raised the rod again and he caught it mid air, but by now, he was weak and i dragged it from him with full force. He called my name and tried to get on his feet, but the rod landed again, but dis time, on his head.
Blood splashed all over the ground and on my body.
I screamed and threw the rod away. I squatted beside him on the floor panicking.
‘God!! What have i done?’
He coughed out blood as his eyes closed weakly, he opened it again and smiled weakly.
He weakly raised his hands and placed them on my jaw.
I started crying ‘Ralph, i’m sorry…Ralph, please i’m very sorry, please forgive me, please…’
‘shh…dont cry..’ he said wiping my tears with his hands ‘please dont cry anymore my love’
I blinked in confusion.
‘you were and would always be my first love Ivyy…you are the first girl i ever disvirgined….’ he coughed weakly ‘believe it or not..after our first time together…i..i made up my mind not to let you go…i…’ he coughed out blood again ‘i fell hopelessly and helplessly in love with you Vee…i loved you…’ he coughed ‘i…i..i..didnt want to seem like a weakling to you so i hit it. My child…’ he coughed again as tears rolled down his eyes ‘i dont know if i’m going to survive this but my child…please…please take care of him or her…’
‘her…’
‘her…whats her name?’
‘Ifeanyi…’ i said in tears.
He smiled ‘you loved that…that guy so much you had to name my child after him. Please take care of my child Ivyy, and tell her about me…please, let her bear my name..my mother might have chased you away that day…she was…she was only trying to protect my future. I’m sorry that i couldnt…i couldnt visit you throughout the period of pregnancy…my…my mum stopped me…i…’ he was breathing weakly now ‘i love you Ivyy…you and my child…take…take care…’ his hands fell off my face and his eyes closed. He stopped breathing.
I closed my eyes and screamed his name….
What have i done?
Episode 26.
I let my hands run through the water as the boat sailed across the water.
I sent a glance at Aunt Chime, she was carrying little Ifeanyi and singing her a lullaby to make her stop crying.
I looked back at the village…where i was born, where i had lived, where i had started my life. I couldnt believe i was going to be leaving the village this way.
I thought of Ralph and i could only pray that his destructive soul rest in perfect peace.
I rested my head on my laps. Aunt Chime tapped me ‘Ivyy, are you okay?’
I raised up my head and smiled nodding my head. What could i have done without this woman? She had been very supportive during this time.
It was her suggestion we left Umueke to a faraway town the night we disposed Ralph’s body. So immediately after dropping his body beside the stream in the middle of the night, we had hurried back to the house, packed our little belongings and headed to the port that same night. We had spent the night there as we couldnt get any boat leaving the village that night.
But very early the next morning, we had boarded a boat going to Umeja.
Umeja was very far from Umueke and the journey was surely going to last for two days. Umeja wasnt an Igbo community, it was a Yorubaland and i wondered how i was going to fare.
Umueke had been part of my life. I was going to miss everyone…Henna, Kainene, Omalicha, Ijeoma, Jude, Chijioke, Ifeanyi and even Ralph…though he was no longer in this world.
But i knew deep within me that i was going to miss Henna more. It pained me that i didnt even get to tell her goodbye or apologise for everything. It pained me that i just left without a goodbye to those who mattered alot to me.
I looked at Aunt Chime again and she was engrossed with crying Ifeanyi.
I carefully unzipped my bag and brought out the phone Ifeanyi had given me. Tears trickled down my eyes.
I wanted to do away with every memory of Umueke. I wanted to forget i ever came from that village. I wanted a new life. A fresh start without worries or pains.
I wondered if i was doing the right thing. I wrapped the phone in a black nylon, closed my eyes and dropped it into the water.
I screamed loudly as the phone sunk deeper into the water.
‘Ivyy, what is wrong with you?’ Aunt Chime asked as people looked at us.
I started crying.
Oh my soul, God bless my sould.
****
FIVE YEARS LATER.
I marveled at the beauty of the mansion in front of me. The large swimming pool, the beautiful fountain, the beautiful garden and the beautiful cars parked in the garage.
Living in this house for sixteen months hadnt gotten me used to it.
I got down from the car, picked up my Dabana handbag and entered inside the house.
‘mummy!’ Ifepam screeched jumping into my arms.
‘oh Ifepam, you’ll not kill me…how was school today?’ i asked carrying her to the sofa. My daughter preferred being called Ifepam, thats Ifeanyi Pamela. Said Ifeanyi was too masculine.
‘school was fine mum, how was work?’
‘work was hectic, where’s aunt Chime?’
‘in the kitchen…’ Ifeanyi said biting her fingers.
‘stop dat! Its bad habit…’ i scolded.
‘heyy Ivyy dear, you are back!’ aunt Chime called emerging from the kitchen.
‘yes aunt…’ i said rising on my feet, i handed my handbag to Ifeanyi and she ran to my room to drop it. I followed aunt Chime to the kitchen ‘so whats cooking?’
‘jollof rice…’ Aunt Chime said stirring the pot.
‘smells nice…’
She suddenly stopped stirring and faced me ‘Chief was here today…’
I nealy choked on the bottled water i was drinking ‘which Chief?’
‘how many Chief do you know? Chief Adetola of course!’
‘oh my God! What did he come here to do again?’
‘the same thing he has been trying to do over the years Ivyy’ she faced her pot again.
I placed my face on my palms ‘oh my God, that man should just let me be for goodness sake! I cannot marry an old man like him, why doesnt he understand?’
Aunt Chime covered the pot and looked at me ‘Ivyy, you know you cant run away from Chief forever, maybe its high time you gave into his request…’ my shoulders slumped ‘yes my dear, look around you, the luxury you’re living in, who gave it to you?’
‘God…and my hardwork…i worked hard for this aunty..’
‘oh please, lets be realistic. We all know that Chief made you who you are today. Yes, maybe you earned it with all your hardwork…but who was the person who took us in and gave us a life when we newly arrived here several years ago? Who was the person who paid all your bills and sent you to school? Who was the person who got you employed in his company as the assistant manager?’
‘Chief…’ i muttered slowly.
She shrugged ‘you see? Ivyy, marrying him will only bring us goodluck, its going to secure your future and that of Ifepam’s. She’s going to have attend the best universities in the world and marry a good man. Think about this Ivyy, dont miss your luck’
I looked down. Me…marry Chief?
I cant. I didnt love him.
I loved another.
Episode 27.
I was sitting in my office typing something on my laptop when the door opened. I thought it was Cherpet, my secretary.
‘Cherie, anything?’ i asked without looking up from my laptop.
I froze when i heard ‘my princess’ from a very familiar voice. I raised my head ‘Chief!’ I blurted in surprise.
‘my princess, bawo ni?’ he asked holding his agbada. He sat on the chair opposite him.
I smiled ‘mo wa kpa sir. How was your day?’
He grinned at me ‘i’m very fine…i came by your house two days ago, i was told you were at work..actually i just stopped to say hi to your aunt’
‘thanks a lot Chief…’ i smiled not knowing what to say.
‘but today, i came here for my answer…my proposal…’ he winked.
I winced.
Chief was a good looking man in his fifties. He had six wives and eighteen kids, his first son was an senior to me with over five years, how was i to marry a man like that?
‘erm…Chief, its…’ i played with my fingers nervously ‘i’m very grateful for your kindness towards me and my family these past few years…but…but…i…i just…i just cant…i dont know how to put it..’
‘put it anywhere dear…’
‘i cant marry you. I just cant marry you Chief, i’m sorry’ i sighed.
He regarded you for a while ‘what do you mean?’
‘i cant marry you…i’m refusing your proposal…’ i said as gently as i could.
He looked shocked.
‘i am ready to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me Chief, but please, not through marriage, i…’
‘will you shut up?’ he barked suddenly and i drew back in shock.
He stood up, an angry look on his face ‘you are nothing but an ingrate! After everything i did for you and your wretched aunt!’
I looked down not able to say anything.
‘i picked you up from the gutters and brushed you up! I sent you to school and took care of your child…provided a comfortable house for you too. And then i got you a job. You must be mad if you think i will let you go just like that!’
I stood up ‘but Chief, you really cant force me to marry you…’ i said gently as i placed my palms together ‘please forgive me Chief but i really cant marry you. I cant’
‘you are very stupid! Look…’ he said banging his fist on the table ‘you dont want to see me angry…i can ruin your life and all that you’ve worked for all these years..i can make you lose your job, i can chase you from dat house because i also own it. I can equally…look Ivyy, you better dont provoke me. I give you two day…two days to make up your mind else…you lose everything’ he said walking out in anger.
I fell back on my seat. I had a tough battle ahead of me, that i knew.
***
‘Ivyy, you just have to give into Chief’s proposal and you have to be fast about this!’ Aunt Chime said marching into my room holding her phone in her hand ‘Chief just called me now and you needed to hear how how angry he sounded. I’ve never heard me speak so angrily before and there’s no need telling whats going to happen if you dont marry Chief, Ivyy, do you want to lose everything overnight? What is all these nonsense?’ she barked angrily.
I sighed and rubbed my temples ‘but aunty, you know i dont love Chief, besides he’s far older than me, i cant marry him. I cant marry a man i dont love…’
Ifepams walked into the room at that moment yawning angrily.
Aunt Chime held her hands pointing at her ‘Ivyy, love…’ she pointed at Ifepams ‘love oo, love…’ i knew what she was implying at. The thing she didnt know was that i never loved Ralph ‘love is not everything…love can make someone make deadly mistakes sometimes. I just hope you know what you are doing…’ she walked out of the room dragging Ifepams along.
I fell on my bed and sighed. I was never going to marry Chief and nothing can stop me, no matter what anyone says. I wasnt going to lose anything but i wasnt going to marry Chief.
I knew he lusted for my body and maybe if he had it once, he could forget about the marriage stuff.
I walked to the window watching how the city bustled in activities.
I missed Umueke and i thought of visiting there very soon, except that i had no one to see there. Ifeanyi could have probable left the country and Henna would have probably left the country too as she had always said she was leaving the village immediately she finished secondary school there.
I let out air.
I missed them. I missed my past life. I wondered how Ije and Oma were faring. I wondered how the village reacted to Ralph’s death. Someone might be paying for my crimes now as they might have accused someone else and i wondered who.
Oh God…the mistakes i made in the past.
I just pray they dont come back to haunt me.
TBC
I snuggled coser to Ifeanyi to tap warmth from his. His hands encircled my waist and pecked my cheeks…i smiled at him.
Henna picked the packet of cigarette on the table and brought out a stick causing Ifeanyi to frown.
‘common big bro, its just a stick…its been really long i had a smoke, please…’ Henna pleaded as she brought the cigarette to her lips.
‘Henna, this lifestyle of yours will not help you. No man wants to marry a wayward woman who smokes and drinks like there’s no tomorrow. You’re just seventeen..not even up to the age of smoking….’ Ifeanyi said.
Yes, even i had complained several times about the smoking habit of Henna but she didnt care. She believed in living her life to the fullest, having the most handsome guys at her beck and call, smoking all she wanted and drinking all she wanted! That was how she wanted to live her life.
‘Its my life Ife…’ she lighted the cigarette.
Ifeanyi shrugged resignedly ‘true, its ur life little sis, just trying to be concerned since you’re my sister..’
‘i appreciate…’ Henna said puffing thick smoke into the air.
I looked at Oma and saw she was grinding Chijioke already…Ije was kissing her boyfriend, Zakky..the ugliest boy in our class. Seriously, i dont know what Ije saw in him but she loved him to death. She had other boyfriends, Okechukwu and the likes of them, but she never played with Zakky.
Henna relaxed her back on Jude as they shared her cigarette, laughing to themselves. Everyone seemed occupied with their boyfriends.
Ifeanyi raised my head and kissed me lightly on my lips ‘lets go to the car…’ he breathed kissing my hair.
I understood what he meant…he actually meant having s-x in the car. I shook my head.
‘no, i’d rather remain here’ i replied.
I saw Henna looking at me and with her head she urged me on. She had insisted i told Ifeanyi the truth about Ralph and i, but how could i? How could i ever tell Ifeanyi that i had s-x with Ralph and he disvirgined me? How would Ifeanyi look at me? Would he ever forgive me? What if he ends it with me? What if Henna was wrong dis time? Werent somethings better left unsaid?
I sighed ‘okay, lets go’
He smiled at me and we stood up from the sand. We were actually in Umueke’s playground, more like a village beach, with sharp sands and a small river by the side.
Immediately we entered the car and rolled up our windows, Ifeanyi grabbed me, kissing me and squeezing my bosoms. I moaned.
I wanted more and i drew closer.
His hands went under my skirt playing with my cl.it, he pinched it softly and i groaned in ecstacy.
He unbuckled his belt and brought down his boxer…my eyes bulged at the size of his member…his were twice the size of Ralph’s.
He came atop of me and reached for a kiss, but i threw my head to the side.
He stopped and looked at me ‘whats wrong?’
‘nothing…’ i replied ‘Ife, please stand up, i’m not in the mood for this’
‘but Ivyy, you were responding just now…’
‘i said i’m not in the mood please…’ i pushed him away and sat up adjusting my blouse ‘i’ll do this in my own appropriate time, i dont want to rush’
‘are you a virgin?’
That question broke my heart. I wanted to scream yes! I had been a virgin until three days ago! When that jerk….
I saw the hope in his eyes and melted…i bursted into tears.
He held me…surprised and shocked at my tears ‘Ivyy, why are you crying?’
‘i was…i was raped Ife…’ what i said even surprised me…where did that come from.
‘what?!’ he looked shocked.
I had to continue what i already started. Henna would be disappointed in me, yes, but i had to do what i had to do to keep Ifeanyi. I loved him.
‘i was raped. That basta.rd Ralph raped me!’
Am i doing the right thing?
Episode 20.
I slept that night with a heavy heart. What have i turned into? Why did i have to lie to Ifeanyi about Ralph? What if he found out the truth…that i wasnt raped my Ralph but had s-x and not only had s-x with him, enjoyed it to its fullest. Henna would be disappointed in me…oh God, what have i done?
I made up my mind to have nothing to do with Ralph anymore. I was going to focus on Ifeanyi because i loved him. It was him i truly loved not Ralph.
I was going to complete treat Ralph like he was invincible, not even bantering words with him. Yes, maybe he suceeded with me, but its over. He was a mistake i was going to regret for the rest of my life.
****
Exams came and went. It was holiday time!
I loved holidays…no, i used to love holidays.
Because back then, when mama was alive, i used the holidays as an opportunity to assist her in her trade and also learn alot of things from her. I was free from books and morning bells.
Henna made me promise i was going to visit her house on sunday and i agreed to it. While Oma was going to Owe to visit her aunt, Ije was going to travel to Owerri to learn trade and come back only when school resumes. So it was just Henna and i.
I had succeeded…i had escaped Ralph…or so i thought.
I wondered why he didnt expose the fact that he had finally disvirgined me to everyone….maybe God was at work because it was really surprising, unlike Ralph.
I was surprised to see aunt Chime’s ladies bike parked in front of the compound, meaning she was home. It was unusual of her to remain at home by this time of the day.
I shrugged. Maybe she was ill or just came in to pick up something…i was surprised to see a huge black car parked inside the compound too. Who owned the car? Was aunt Chime having a visitor?
I decided to follow the backdoor, but it was locked, so i had no other choice but to follow the frontdoor.
As i neared the front door however, i heard some funny noises.
I placed my ears on the door and heard moans coming from aunt Chime.
‘um…ahn…yesss…dats it…ouch…onowu, thats it..ah..’
My hands flew to my house. Onowu? Henna’s father? In this house? S------g aunt Chime? This is so impossible. Maybe i heard wrongly, it certainly cannot be the onowu.
By this time, her moans had increased ‘aww yeah…ah…ah..ah..onowu ehhhh’
****
I stared at the black phone Ifeanyi had gotten me yesterday and i smiled. Ifeanyi was a generous and a very nice guy. He made my heart flutter beautifully. The phone was just like Henna’s, if not bigger than Henna’s and i wonder if i could be able to operate it. I hid it from aunt Chime because i didnt know how i was going to explain to her how i got the phone.
There was a knock from the parlour door and i quickly hid the phone under my bed. Who was that?
Was aunt Chime home?
I ran to the door and opened it and i gasped. Ralph! Oh my God, my heart pounded loudly against my chest and i wondered if he heard it. He had a wicked grin on his face.
‘hi baby…’ he called seductively and winked ‘happy to see me?’
I wanted to bang the door on his fac but i couldnt, i just stared at him. That was my mistake because he quickly pounced on me, chewing on my lips.
That was when i realised that i was always longing for his kiss because no sooner had he kissed me that my hands left the door and i wrapped my hands around his neck, responding to his kiss with full vigor.
He kicked the door shut with his legs and we fell on a sofa, with him on top.
He snaked his hand into my top massaging my br.easts through my bra.
Then he tore it off, unhooked the bra and took off his shorts. I closed my eyes in desire as he went down on me. Yes, Ralph knew the right buttons to press to make me desire more.
Suddenly he stopped, and i opened my eyes, i looked at him in confusion, what was wrong? Why did he stop?
‘Ivyy, are you sure you want this?’ he asked with a smile.
I was confused. Wasnt my moans enof to tell him that i wanted this and more?
‘tell me you want this’ he said sitting up.
I nodded.
‘say it with your mouth Ivyy, what do you want?’
‘i….’
‘what?’
‘Ralph, please…’ i moaned as his hands touched my cli.t.
‘what?’
‘i want you…’
‘want me to?’
‘to…’
‘to?’
‘to just FU.CK ME’ i practically screamed it as his tongue went down on me again.
I moaned.
Episode 21.
The phone Ifeanyi gave me worsened the whole situation. Yes, i still hid it from aunt Chime, and i had just three contacts on my phone, Ifeanyi’s, Henna’s and Ralph’s.
Like i was saying earlier, the phone Ifeanyi gave me worsened the whole situation. Ralph and i talked very often and we met severally at the inn or at his house. I no longer regretted anything. If anything, i enjoyed it more than ever.
Ralph was still a jerk, several times i had caught him with girls but i just let it slide…because i didnt love him. I could share him with anyone. As far as he satisfies me with what i want, then he’s free to keep as many girlfriends as he wishes.
***
We laughed.
I was sitting on Ifeanyi’s laps, Kainene and her fiance were seated close to each other on the exquisite sofa. Henna and Jude were dancing together, rocking each other and some of Kainene’s friends were also dancing.
Their sitting room was a mess..filled with cigarettes and alcohol bottles, biscuit wraps and what have you.
We were celebrating Kainene’s engagement in a small way. And of course, the onowu was not around, if he had been, then he wouldnt have allowed us mess up his sitting room like this.
The onowu was a strict man and it still baffled me how a strict man like him could be sleeping with his own daughter and at the same time, s------g my aunt. I found it amusing.
‘yeah baby, rock him harder!’ Kainene cheered at Henna and Jude.
Yes, i know that we were all having fun and all that. But, as a senior, when you see your junior heading towards the wrong path, you draw him or her back, and tell him/her the dangers of following that path. But that was not the case of Kainene and Ifeanyi.
Yes, sometimes Ifeanyi complained, but he wasnt that strict with it. He just shrugged saying it was her life, which was not supposed to be so. They were siblings from the same womb and one’s lifestyle should concern the other.
Kainene was even worse, instead of correcting her sister, she even encouraged her…what sister would do that?
Henna smoked, drank and even kissed her boyfriend in their presence without fear because she knew they werent going to complain, which was wrong. Even if she did those things, she was supposed to have fear and not do it in their presence but it wasnt entirely her fault, if her siblings has been strict siblings, she wouldnt have been doing such in their presence.
It was wrong.
Yes, i’m equally not a saint, i know. I was doing something very terrible, something unforgivable…something unpardonable.
Ifeanyi wrapped his hands around my chest, his hands pressed tightly against my br.easts. I turned to him and smiled.
‘naughty boy…’
‘lets go to my room, let me show you how naughty i am’ he grinned.
‘no, thank you. Dont spoil me’
My phone beeped. I had recieved a text message. I knew it was from Ralph, no one else.
I climbed down from Ifeanyi’s laps, took my phone and headed to the refridgerator, like i wanted to collect something from it.
I quickly opened the text message. It read;
“Heyy beauty, meet me at the inn by five. I promise you a nice s-x, one Ifeanyi would never be able to give you in a life time”
That alone made me hor.ny. I felt wet between my thighs. I quickly replied him.
“I trust you, you never disappoint me. We’ll meet but by six. I’m at Henna’s house and i dont know when Ifeanyi is going to release me, later”
I catwalked back to Ifeanyi’s laps. I couldnt wait for six. I was already hot. Maybe i could make do with Ifeanyi till six, so i leaned closer and whispered in his ears.
‘lets go to your room’
‘really?’ he grinned ‘lets go’
I stood up and we walked to his room with Kainene winking at us.
Immediately we got to the room, we started kissing and fell on the bed.
His hands went under my top pinching my br.easts. But instead of me to feel excited, i felt irritated.
I tried to enjoy it, even faking a moan but i couldnt.
Not that he wasnt doing it well, he was but i just couldnt enjoy it.
It wasnt turning me on, instead i felt like throwing up in his face and slapping him.
Not that i didnt love Ifeanyi, i did, but romance with him was something i didnt enjoy and didnt look forward to unlike Ralph and i.
He noticed i had stilled and stopped ‘i’m sorry, the rape is still haunting you isnt it?’
Yes, he believed i was raped and that was why i was finding it difficult to engage in intimacy.
‘yes…’ i nodded biting my lips.
He rolled off to the other side of the bed and drew me to himself ‘dont worry, you’ll be fine. Sorry for rushing you. I love you’
‘i love you too Ife’ i snuggled closer to him.
I laid on his chest and smiled inwardly.
I checked the wall clock and it was still four.
Can someone help me tell the clock to fastforward to six o’clock?
I’d really appreciate.
Episode 22.
I started noticing sever back ache come weeks later. I was always weak and dizzy and food lost taste in my mouth. I could no longer enter the kitchen because the smell of food was enof to make me dizzy.
Even coke which had been my favourite drink now had a metallic taste in my mouth.
I hated drugs so i hid my sickness from aunt Chime because she was going to drag me to the village clinic for them to administer drugs on me.
School was resuming in few weeks time but i didnt look forward to it.
Oma had returned to the village and she visited me almost everyday. She told me i was getting fat nowadays and what was the secret. I simply laughed it off and said it was because i rarely left the house nowadays and slept alot.
I lost taste for s-x and whenever Ralph called me, i always had one excuse to say. Ifeanyi never went beyond kissing with me. He understood me and claimed i needed time to heal. He was the best boyfriend that could ever be, he was caring, romantic, nice, and he wasnt stinging. He always siezed opportunity to shower me with gifts, some of which i rejected because i didnt want aunt Chime to suspect anything.
I checked my calendar. Today was 25th, it was due for 14th, why had Aunty flow not visited yet?
My heart pounded loudly against my chest.
I immediately fell on the bed, picked up my phone, turned on my mobile data and hit the internet.
SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY – I typed into the search box. My heart pounded loudly as it connected.
***
‘good evening nurse Amaka…’ i greeted the old nurse seated behing the counter, her glasses on her nose as she read a newspaper.
She looked up at my, her brow creased in a frown, obviously, she was trying to recognise me.
‘Maduemezie okwaya?’ she asked in Igbo.
‘yes ma’ i replied as my heart pounded loudly against my chest..i had hoped she hadnt recognised me. But she did.
‘gi bu afa yi sef?’ she asked meaning – what is your name?
‘i…i…’ I decided to lie ‘Mary’
‘asi!’ she said immediately shocking me. Asi meant lie.
‘ma?’
‘okwi i che umara afa yi okwaya?’ Meaning, so you thought i didnt know your name right?
‘afam bu Mary’
‘ta mechionu, onye asi…’ she said smiling ‘afa gi bu Ivyy, so because i’m old, you think i forget people that easily okwaya?’
I smiled ‘my name is also Mary, my baptismal name’
‘ooo, anukwam (i’ve heard) Gini ki cho?’ What do you want?
‘erm, i…’ God help me, how do i tell her this without this inquisitive nurse asking me questions i wouldnt want to answer?
‘gini?’ what?
‘erm, i’ve forgotten what my neighbour called it oo…erm, okay..she said pregnancy strip!’ I exclaimed, glad the idea came into my head immediately.
She regarded me suspicously ‘children of nowadays, hian! Mere looking at you alone, i know you’re pregnant. So you want to fool me into believing its for your neighbour okwaya? When last did you see your period?’
I was shocked to the marrow, how did she know? I looked at my body, was it written all over me?
She chuckled as she rose on her feet ‘it seems you’ve forgotten that i’m a old woman with so many grandchildren and as such, i have more experience than you can ever imagine, mu amugo nwa oo (i’ve given birth oo). I know a pregnant woman immediately she crosses my face and immediately you came here, i knew you were carrying a child, that was why i was interviewing you..see your life…i’ll advice you not to bother buying a pregnant strip, because i’m already telling you that you are pregnant’ Her face wrinkled in disgust as tears ran down my cheeks ‘there’s no use crying over spilled milk. Shebi you wanted to taste what your mother was eating every night? Shebi you’ve tasted it…e sweet?’ She laughed wickedly.
‘your parents…oh! Your parents are already dead, too bad! But they will be turning in their graves by now…its a pity. I just hope the man marries you sha, so your life wont be a mess like your moms’
I broke down in tears. Who was this woman to judge me? What right had she to judge me? I thought as i cried.
Ralph has killed me! Ralph has ruined my future! My education…my career! God!
I fell on the floor of the pharmacy weeping like a baby.
I had always wanted to be an Accountant…a chartered Accountant. But all that had gone down the drains.
I cried.
The heartless woman didnt even deem it fit to console me, instead she laughed.
‘shebi penis dey hungry you? Shebi you don taste am? Amu na su so, Amu ne gbu!’ (The penis is sweet, the penis also kills).
How i managed to get home that night surprised even me.
Immediately i got home, i locked the door behind me and cried my eyes out till i slept.
A knock on the door woke me up. I opened it to see Aunt Chime.
She regarded me for a while, held my hand and dragged me to the sitting room.
I was scared, what was happening?
She landed a hot slap on my cheeks immediately we got there.
‘tell me the ba.stard who’s responsible!’ She said angrily.
I started crying. She had found out ‘aunt, what happened?’
‘who’s the fool who got you pregnant, you animal!’
‘aunty….’ i started crying. I had brought shame to myself. What do i tell her? God please forgive me my sins, but please help me outta this mess. I felt like dying.
She gave me another slap ‘it seems you are trying me Ivyy, im tizie ife tata, e go wete oweyi (if i beat you this nite’ She brought a horsewhip from under the table and landed it severally on my body.
‘tell me…tell me’
I screamed as the whip touched me everywhere. I was dying slowly and only God could help me.
‘will you tell me or not?’ aunt Chime asked landing the whip mercilessly on my body.
I’d never been flogged like this before. I couldnt take it anymore.
‘IFEANYI!!!!!’ I screamed.
I stilled. What did i just say?
Episode 23.
Very early the next morning, aunt Chime dragged me like a thief to the onowu’s house. The guard at the gate refused to let us in as the onowu was around.
Aunt Chime started screaming loud ‘IFEANYI! IFEANYI, SON OF THE ONOWU! COME AND SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO MY NIECE OOOO! YOU’VE IMPREGNATED HER AND YOU MUST TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT’
I bowed my head in shame as tears poured down my cheeks…i regretted so many things.
If only Ifeanyi was responsible for my pregnancy, then i wouldnt have no fear because he was certainly going to marry me. But no he wasnt, and he was going to know because he never had sexual intercourse with me.
And the shame it was going to bring to me now, because everyone came out of the house almost at once, the onowu, Kainene, Henna, Ifeanyi, the maids and so many other domestic workers in the house.
The onowu told the guard at the gate to let us in and he did.
Immediately i stepped into the compound, i lowered my head in shame. I knew i was a mess, my hair was rough, my clothes were squeezed and my face oily and pale. My eyes were red and swollen from too much crying.
The onowu looked from aunt Chime to me accessingly ‘whats the meaning of this, so early in the morning?’ his voice vibrated in anger.
Aunt Chime got on her knees with her head lowered ‘onowu, may you live long’
‘what brings you and your niece here this early morning?’ he asked.
Henna moved to my side and was about speaking when her father commanded her to step back.
I suddenly felt dizzy and my knees became weak and Ifeanyi was beside me in a flash and i fell into his arms.
By now, aunt Chime was already explaining everything to the onowu.
I looked at Ifeanyi in tears and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’
He looked at me in confusion.
‘i’m very sorry Ifeanyi, have mercy upon me’ i sobbed.
‘……so now, my niece is pregnant and she claimes Ifeanyi is responsible for the pregnancy and i brought her here for Ifeanyi to take responsiblity. Long live the onowu…’ Aunt Chime concluded.
‘get up woman…’ the onowu said and she did.
‘Ifeanyi!’ the onowu spoke authoritatively.
Ifeanyi looked at him, confusion laced over his face. It was obvious he wasnt understanding what was going on ‘dad?’
‘what do you have to say about this? Have you impregnated this girl here as claimed?’ the onowu asked.
Ifeanyi looked at me and gave me the ARE YOU CRAZY look? ‘are you playing games Ivyy? If thats the case, you should quit now cos everyone is falling for it’
‘mere looking at her, she looks like someone with pregnancy…’ the head cook of their house said, madam Onuoha, a woman in her sixties.
The onowu turned to her ‘did i ask for your opinion?’
‘no…no sir’
‘get inside the house and prepare dinner immediately!’
The cook scampered inside the house immediately.
Ifeanyi shifted away from me ‘Ivyy, who’s responsible for your pregnancy?’
‘what kind of question is that?’ aunt Chime asked ‘of course its you! You think i havent been seeing you guys hang out in my garden through my windown?’
Ifeanyi stood up immediately ‘i am not responsible for this! Tell her to tell you the person responsible for the pregnancy because its certainly not me, i am a hundred percent sure of that!’
‘dont you know that condoms do burst?’ the onowu interjected ‘if you think you can be hundred percent sure simply because you used a condom then you’re a liar. Ifeanyi, i’m disappointed in you! How dare you try to shy away from your responsibility? Is that what i thought you?’
‘dad! Ivyy is lying! Gosh, Henna please tell them what i told you last night…’ Ifeanyi said turning to Henna ‘i agree that we attempted to do it so many times but Ivyy couldnt do it because she or rather she claimed she was raped and so she had issues whenever it came to intimacy. I swear on my late mother’s grave and everything i hold dear that i did not have s-x with Ivyy. She was my girlfriend, yes, but there was never any intimacy between us, ask her yourself!’
I started crying as all eyes turned to me.
The onowu came closer and squatted in front of me ‘tell me my child, who really is responsible for your pregnancy? Is it really Ifeanyi?’
I cried. I couldnt say anything….Ifeanyi was such a good person, he didnt deserve this kind of treatment from anyone most especially me. I just had to admit that i’d lost him for good. He was never coming back to me again and it was all my fault.
‘answer me child…’ the onowu said tenderly ‘is he truly responsible for your pregnancy?’
I shook my head. I couldnt do this to Ifeanyi, he deserved something better ‘no’
Everyone gasped and Ifeanyi fell to the ground crying. He had truly loved me.
‘then who’s responsible?’ the onowu asked.
‘Ralph…Ralph Obi’ i sobbed.
Henna’s shoulder sagged in disappointment.
She warned me. Mrs Asemota warned me.
I’m finished!
Episode 24.
I would never forget that day in my life.
That day when i stood by the window watching my mates dressed in their neat and well ironed school uniform hurrying off to school with their fancy schoolbags slung over their shoulders.
That day when it dawned on me that i might never smell the school gate anymore. That day when it dawned on me that i was going to miss my teachers. Especially Mrs Asemota. That day when it dawned on me that i had disappointed very important persons in my life.
I knew without being told that mama was going to be very upset with me wherever she was.
I lost. I lost on both ends.
Immediately we left the onowu’s house that fateful day, aunt Chime had dragged me to Ralph’s house.
We met his mother and she threatened us after throwing some money to us, never to come close to our house again.
She called me names i knew i deserved and told me to terminate the pregnancy immediately and i shouldnt drag down her son simply because i was also going down.
Aunt Chime had retorted and had told her that if she had given her son a proper upbringing, then he would never have impregnated a girl while in secondary school.
And the woman had looked at me and said i was more shameless because even though Ralph had impregnated me, that wouldnt stop him from going to school becoming what he’s destined to be. But as for me, mine was finished because it will take only a miracle for a responsible and well respected man to marry me.
Aunt Chime had been very mad. And she had stood in front of the woman and told her that plus my pregnancy minus my pregnancy, i was going to be greater than her son in the future.
The woman had laughed and ordered her securities to throw us out. I couldnt stop crying.
At a time, the thought of suicide crossed my mind. I couldnt stand the shame and all.
I looked at the window once more. I saw Mesoma and her friend, Chisom going to school. I was far better than those girls. I was far better than Henna who was scre.wing her own father. Why was i the only one with badluck, i agreed i made a mistake, but did God have to punish me for that?
The door opened and Aunt Chime entered the room with a tray in her hands.
‘Ivyy dear, breakfast in ready, come and eat, have you brushed your teeth?’ she asked concernedly dropping the tray on the table.
‘good morning aunty, i’m not hungry…’ i replied wiping my tears with my hands.
‘are you crying again?’ she moved closer to me ‘baby, you have to stop crying. You really have to stop dwelling on your mistake..what has happened has happened and you have to move on. You have to be in good condition and eat well for your baby’s sake…’
At the mention of baby’s sake, i broke into tears.
She pulled me closer to herself ‘you’ll be just what you want to be my dear, pregnancy will not stop you. You will carry this pregnanct, you will give birth to this baby, you will nurse it for one year but after that one year, Ivyy, i’m sending you to the city, you’ll drop the baby with me, i’ll train it and treat it like my own. With all my savings, i’ll make sure you go to a very good school over there, i would do everything i can, even if i have to open my legs for every man in this village, i will do it. You must show people that early pregnancy cannot stop you from being whatever you want to be. Pregnancy does not take long, just nine months, after then, its over. Just take it as a nine-month break in your life. Moreover, you shouldnt be sad. You are going to be bringing a new life into this world. Do you know how much i’ve prayed to God to grant me this nine-month rest? You are opportuned to get it Ivyy so relax and be happy. If you think your pregnancy will cause you to stop schooling, then it will not, you’ll start school again, you’ll attend university and you’ll graduate with a very good result, i’ll make sure of that. I’ll prove to that useless woman that plus pregnancy minus pregnancy, you’re destined to be greated than that psychotic son of hers…’ she said with such venom in her soul.
I couldnt believe this was the woman i once i hated. I couldnt believe this was the woman whom had flogged me that day..mercilessly.
She was my second mother.
I rested my head on her shoulder and cried.
‘and if anyone tries to mock you, just tell me, i’ll show them a every vagin.a has hair, everywhere in the world except that of a small child! Pregnancy is a gift not everyone has the opportunity to recieve, so if you’ve recieved it Ivyy, then you should cherish it. Dem no born anybody well make they come meet you tell you nonsense, i go tear their cloth for their body!’
I cried. I hope everything becomes as aunt Chime had said it, God being my helper.
Episode 25.
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Aunt Chime registered me in the clinic for antenatal, and that was the only place i visited apart from church.
The three places i ever went to were the church, the clinic and the garden which was also in the same compound. I’ve never felt so lonely the way i felt this past few months.
Henna was still angry with me, i could tell with the way she always reacted whenever she visited which was once in a blue moon.
The next time she visited after that day at her house was in my third month of pregnancy.
She came again in my fifth month and twice in my sixth month and i did not see her till my nineth month of pregnancy. She always came with gifts and novels to keep me busy and she never stayed long. She just asked me how i was faring, what it felt like to have a baby.
Oma and Ije came with her once and the degrading look they constantly gave me made me really uncomfortable and i had to tell them i needed to rest just so they could go.
I was standing by the window one fateful morning watching students hurry off to school as i usually did every morning. My classmates were now in their final year preparing for their Senior Secondary Certificate Examination (SSCE).
I looked down on my stomach rubbing it gently, i suddenly felt a sharp pain across my waist and below my abdomen.
I ignored it till it came again. This time it was really severe, i muffled a scream.
It came again, more severe this time and i let out a scream as i felt water trickle down my thighs.
‘help….somebody help me….’ Aunt Chime was not home, she went to her women meeting.
I needed help.
I slowly crawled to my box where i had hidden my cell phone. I turned it on and dialled a number.
‘hello?’ the familiar voice which i had missed said into the speaker.
‘hell…o, Ifeanyi…pls come over…i…ouch! I need help!’
***
I stared lovingly at the little creature in my arm and broke into tears.
Such a beautiful child.
I thought about everything that had happened to me these past few months, all the mistakes i made, all the people i took for granted, all the advice i recieved.
I cried even harder.
Aunt Chime came to me and wrapped her hands around my shoulders.
‘its okay baby, stop crying..you should be happy at this special moment not crying…’ she said.
‘i’m happy aunty, i’m very happy right now….but i cant…i cant stop my tears…’
‘the baby is so cute, just like her mother, what would you like to name her?’
‘aunty, Ifeanyi is unisex right?’
‘huh?’
‘i mean, Ifeanyi is for both male and female isnt it?’
‘eh…yes, but males bear it more…’
‘i’ll name this child Ifeanyi…’ i spoke as tears poured from my eyes ‘her name is Ifeanyi Pamela Maduemezie…i’ll name her Pamela after my mother’
‘Ivyy….’ aunt Chime said hugging me.
‘she’ll always remember me of…of him…’
‘who? Ifeanyi?’
I nodded ‘i’ve lost him for good aunty
‘hold on i’m coming…’ i shouted at the person who was persistently knocking.
Little Ifeanyi was in my arms, crying with my b---m in her mouth. She seemed insatiable and i wondered what her problem was. She bit my ni.pple and i winced and spanked her playfully.
I removed my b---m from her mouth and tucked it back into my bra, dropped her on the sofa and headed to the door.
I opened it and gasped ‘Ralph!’
He smiled cockily and spread his arms ‘live and direct baby’
My heart swelled in hatred for this guy. He was my worst nightmare, and if i was given the chance to kill anyone, that would be him certainly.
I suddenly felt like banging the door on his face. It’d been a year since i last saw him. Obviously, his mother had told him about my baby and he had stayed away from me. Fool!
I proceeded to close the door on his face but he was quick enough to put his left foot in the way.
‘what do you want?!’ i asked angrily. This guy shouldnt tempt me, i would kill him if need be.
‘you baby…i missed you, you know’ he winked.
‘gosh! You’re so disgusting! Get out of my house Ralph, i dont want to see ever again!’
‘dont you love me anymore? Remember how you’d scream my name in ecstacy, telling me you loved me with all your heart and you’d never leave me whenever you were underneath me?’
I blushed in embarrassment and closed my eyes. Yes, those were the days of foolishness and blindness. I was naive and foolish then, but not anymore.
Tears smarted my eyes as i thought of everything i lost because of him. My education, my dignity, my self respect and above all, Ifeanyi.
‘i hate you Ralph…’ i whispered fiercely.
I saw emotion pass through his face but it was gone as quickly as it came and he quickly grinned again.
‘maybe if we get under the sheets once more, the hatred will disappear as quickly as it came…what do you think?’ he winked.
I spat on his face as my left hand flew across his face.
My other hand followed and he was quick enof to catch the third one mid air.
I raised my other hand and he held it, i struggled to let go but his hold only tightened. He was no longer grinning or smiling, his face was void of emotions.
Then he placed his lips on mine, but i bit it with full force and he drew back and winced. He held two of my hands with one hand and used his other hand to draw me closer to him. He placed his lips on mine again chewing on my lower lip.
The old me would have melted in his arms by now, but i was a different Ivyy now, i kicked his balls with my knees and he bent low in pain releasing me.
I sent another slap to him…i picked up the rod close to the door and whipped his back with it. He screamed in pain and fell down.
I raised the rod again and this time, it landed on his stomach…he screamed and tried to get on his feet, i landed the rod on his ankle and he was back on the floor again.
I raised the rod again and it bruised his lips. He was practically spitting out blood again.
I raised the rod again and he caught it mid air, but by now, he was weak and i dragged it from him with full force. He called my name and tried to get on his feet, but the rod landed again, but dis time, on his head.
Blood splashed all over the ground and on my body.
I screamed and threw the rod away. I squatted beside him on the floor panicking.
‘God!! What have i done?’
He coughed out blood as his eyes closed weakly, he opened it again and smiled weakly.
He weakly raised his hands and placed them on my jaw.
I started crying ‘Ralph, i’m sorry…Ralph, please i’m very sorry, please forgive me, please…’
‘shh…dont cry..’ he said wiping my tears with his hands ‘please dont cry anymore my love’
I blinked in confusion.
‘you were and would always be my first love Ivyy…you are the first girl i ever disvirgined….’ he coughed weakly ‘believe it or not..after our first time together…i..i made up my mind not to let you go…i…’ he coughed out blood again ‘i fell hopelessly and helplessly in love with you Vee…i loved you…’ he coughed ‘i…i..i..didnt want to seem like a weakling to you so i hit it. My child…’ he coughed again as tears rolled down his eyes ‘i dont know if i’m going to survive this but my child…please…please take care of him or her…’
‘her…’
‘her…whats her name?’
‘Ifeanyi…’ i said in tears.
He smiled ‘you loved that…that guy so much you had to name my child after him. Please take care of my child Ivyy, and tell her about me…please, let her bear my name..my mother might have chased you away that day…she was…she was only trying to protect my future. I’m sorry that i couldnt…i couldnt visit you throughout the period of pregnancy…my…my mum stopped me…i…’ he was breathing weakly now ‘i love you Ivyy…you and my child…take…take care…’ his hands fell off my face and his eyes closed. He stopped breathing.
I closed my eyes and screamed his name….
What have i done?
Episode 26.
I let my hands run through the water as the boat sailed across the water.
I sent a glance at Aunt Chime, she was carrying little Ifeanyi and singing her a lullaby to make her stop crying.
I looked back at the village…where i was born, where i had lived, where i had started my life. I couldnt believe i was going to be leaving the village this way.
I thought of Ralph and i could only pray that his destructive soul rest in perfect peace.
I rested my head on my laps. Aunt Chime tapped me ‘Ivyy, are you okay?’
I raised up my head and smiled nodding my head. What could i have done without this woman? She had been very supportive during this time.
It was her suggestion we left Umueke to a faraway town the night we disposed Ralph’s body. So immediately after dropping his body beside the stream in the middle of the night, we had hurried back to the house, packed our little belongings and headed to the port that same night. We had spent the night there as we couldnt get any boat leaving the village that night.
But very early the next morning, we had boarded a boat going to Umeja.
Umeja was very far from Umueke and the journey was surely going to last for two days. Umeja wasnt an Igbo community, it was a Yorubaland and i wondered how i was going to fare.
Umueke had been part of my life. I was going to miss everyone…Henna, Kainene, Omalicha, Ijeoma, Jude, Chijioke, Ifeanyi and even Ralph…though he was no longer in this world.
But i knew deep within me that i was going to miss Henna more. It pained me that i didnt even get to tell her goodbye or apologise for everything. It pained me that i just left without a goodbye to those who mattered alot to me.
I looked at Aunt Chime again and she was engrossed with crying Ifeanyi.
I carefully unzipped my bag and brought out the phone Ifeanyi had given me. Tears trickled down my eyes.
I wanted to do away with every memory of Umueke. I wanted to forget i ever came from that village. I wanted a new life. A fresh start without worries or pains.
I wondered if i was doing the right thing. I wrapped the phone in a black nylon, closed my eyes and dropped it into the water.
I screamed loudly as the phone sunk deeper into the water.
‘Ivyy, what is wrong with you?’ Aunt Chime asked as people looked at us.
I started crying.
Oh my soul, God bless my sould.
****
FIVE YEARS LATER.
I marveled at the beauty of the mansion in front of me. The large swimming pool, the beautiful fountain, the beautiful garden and the beautiful cars parked in the garage.
Living in this house for sixteen months hadnt gotten me used to it.
I got down from the car, picked up my Dabana handbag and entered inside the house.
‘mummy!’ Ifepam screeched jumping into my arms.
‘oh Ifepam, you’ll not kill me…how was school today?’ i asked carrying her to the sofa. My daughter preferred being called Ifepam, thats Ifeanyi Pamela. Said Ifeanyi was too masculine.
‘school was fine mum, how was work?’
‘work was hectic, where’s aunt Chime?’
‘in the kitchen…’ Ifeanyi said biting her fingers.
‘stop dat! Its bad habit…’ i scolded.
‘heyy Ivyy dear, you are back!’ aunt Chime called emerging from the kitchen.
‘yes aunt…’ i said rising on my feet, i handed my handbag to Ifeanyi and she ran to my room to drop it. I followed aunt Chime to the kitchen ‘so whats cooking?’
‘jollof rice…’ Aunt Chime said stirring the pot.
‘smells nice…’
She suddenly stopped stirring and faced me ‘Chief was here today…’
I nealy choked on the bottled water i was drinking ‘which Chief?’
‘how many Chief do you know? Chief Adetola of course!’
‘oh my God! What did he come here to do again?’
‘the same thing he has been trying to do over the years Ivyy’ she faced her pot again.
I placed my face on my palms ‘oh my God, that man should just let me be for goodness sake! I cannot marry an old man like him, why doesnt he understand?’
Aunt Chime covered the pot and looked at me ‘Ivyy, you know you cant run away from Chief forever, maybe its high time you gave into his request…’ my shoulders slumped ‘yes my dear, look around you, the luxury you’re living in, who gave it to you?’
‘God…and my hardwork…i worked hard for this aunty..’
‘oh please, lets be realistic. We all know that Chief made you who you are today. Yes, maybe you earned it with all your hardwork…but who was the person who took us in and gave us a life when we newly arrived here several years ago? Who was the person who paid all your bills and sent you to school? Who was the person who got you employed in his company as the assistant manager?’
‘Chief…’ i muttered slowly.
She shrugged ‘you see? Ivyy, marrying him will only bring us goodluck, its going to secure your future and that of Ifepam’s. She’s going to have attend the best universities in the world and marry a good man. Think about this Ivyy, dont miss your luck’
I looked down. Me…marry Chief?
I cant. I didnt love him.
I loved another.
Episode 27.
I was sitting in my office typing something on my laptop when the door opened. I thought it was Cherpet, my secretary.
‘Cherie, anything?’ i asked without looking up from my laptop.
I froze when i heard ‘my princess’ from a very familiar voice. I raised my head ‘Chief!’ I blurted in surprise.
‘my princess, bawo ni?’ he asked holding his agbada. He sat on the chair opposite him.
I smiled ‘mo wa kpa sir. How was your day?’
He grinned at me ‘i’m very fine…i came by your house two days ago, i was told you were at work..actually i just stopped to say hi to your aunt’
‘thanks a lot Chief…’ i smiled not knowing what to say.
‘but today, i came here for my answer…my proposal…’ he winked.
I winced.
Chief was a good looking man in his fifties. He had six wives and eighteen kids, his first son was an senior to me with over five years, how was i to marry a man like that?
‘erm…Chief, its…’ i played with my fingers nervously ‘i’m very grateful for your kindness towards me and my family these past few years…but…but…i…i just…i just cant…i dont know how to put it..’
‘put it anywhere dear…’
‘i cant marry you. I just cant marry you Chief, i’m sorry’ i sighed.
He regarded you for a while ‘what do you mean?’
‘i cant marry you…i’m refusing your proposal…’ i said as gently as i could.
He looked shocked.
‘i am ready to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me Chief, but please, not through marriage, i…’
‘will you shut up?’ he barked suddenly and i drew back in shock.
He stood up, an angry look on his face ‘you are nothing but an ingrate! After everything i did for you and your wretched aunt!’
I looked down not able to say anything.
‘i picked you up from the gutters and brushed you up! I sent you to school and took care of your child…provided a comfortable house for you too. And then i got you a job. You must be mad if you think i will let you go just like that!’
I stood up ‘but Chief, you really cant force me to marry you…’ i said gently as i placed my palms together ‘please forgive me Chief but i really cant marry you. I cant’
‘you are very stupid! Look…’ he said banging his fist on the table ‘you dont want to see me angry…i can ruin your life and all that you’ve worked for all these years..i can make you lose your job, i can chase you from dat house because i also own it. I can equally…look Ivyy, you better dont provoke me. I give you two day…two days to make up your mind else…you lose everything’ he said walking out in anger.
I fell back on my seat. I had a tough battle ahead of me, that i knew.
***
‘Ivyy, you just have to give into Chief’s proposal and you have to be fast about this!’ Aunt Chime said marching into my room holding her phone in her hand ‘Chief just called me now and you needed to hear how how angry he sounded. I’ve never heard me speak so angrily before and there’s no need telling whats going to happen if you dont marry Chief, Ivyy, do you want to lose everything overnight? What is all these nonsense?’ she barked angrily.
I sighed and rubbed my temples ‘but aunty, you know i dont love Chief, besides he’s far older than me, i cant marry him. I cant marry a man i dont love…’
Ifepams walked into the room at that moment yawning angrily.
Aunt Chime held her hands pointing at her ‘Ivyy, love…’ she pointed at Ifepams ‘love oo, love…’ i knew what she was implying at. The thing she didnt know was that i never loved Ralph ‘love is not everything…love can make someone make deadly mistakes sometimes. I just hope you know what you are doing…’ she walked out of the room dragging Ifepams along.
I fell on my bed and sighed. I was never going to marry Chief and nothing can stop me, no matter what anyone says. I wasnt going to lose anything but i wasnt going to marry Chief.
I knew he lusted for my body and maybe if he had it once, he could forget about the marriage stuff.
I walked to the window watching how the city bustled in activities.
I missed Umueke and i thought of visiting there very soon, except that i had no one to see there. Ifeanyi could have probable left the country and Henna would have probably left the country too as she had always said she was leaving the village immediately she finished secondary school there.
I let out air.
I missed them. I missed my past life. I wondered how Ije and Oma were faring. I wondered how the village reacted to Ralph’s death. Someone might be paying for my crimes now as they might have accused someone else and i wondered who.
Oh God…the mistakes i made in the past.
I just pray they dont come back to haunt me.
TBC
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